Going up the mountain, against the wind

It's been a rough few days

I am not gunna lie. I hate being a "woe is me" but excuse me as stand on my soap box

for a few brief moments. I need to vent a little.

I try to stay positive, even through the challenges life brings me.

We all have some sort of struggle we go through, we aren't alone.

That's what I remind myself every time. I tell myself,

"Someone else has it worse, do not complain....someone out there has it worse"
so Suck it up and figure it out. ::sigh::

Quick shout out!!! My friend, Amanda, (mind you I say friend but I personally don't know her but I feel like I do because I follow her blog and ig and all that jazz. Okay so maybe I am a stalker. whatevs. Maybe she will read my blog and we can become friends. one day. miles away. it can work. I am desperate for friends. maybe? )...anyhoo...as I was saying... she is super amazing...has FIVE girls under 7! idk how she does it. Her middle child had a brain tumor and is really kickin its butt! Super proud of that Reesey girl! She's a super awesome mom and she deserves a shout out!!

Nathan has none stopped cried today. For no reason. Just cries. Cries if somebody talks. Cries if somebody looks at him. Cries if it is silent. My head is pounding. 

I went to the orientation today for my new job that I am excited about. Just waiting to be sent to have the whole background check, social security, birth date, mothers name, pets name, favorite color, pull a hair from the scalp for your family generation testing procedures to be sent. I am about to get ADD here as I go back to letting you know my son is screaming at this very moment. See, he's not even a fan of my blog. *insert sad face*

I have so much homework and a test to study for but let me remind you, I am by far the BEST, yes, best procrastinator you could ever meet. Basically if I do my work now...it won't be as good. If I wait until the last minute...Straight A's! Crazy huh?There should be an award for that.

My horoscope last month said that on the 19th of this month, some life changing moment will be happen to me and my family. So...it's the 19th. Nothing yet. I bought a lotto ticket..maybe thats it. Or maybe I got the month wrong. Possibly the wrong horoscope? I don't know. Stupid stars. Don't fail me now.

Oh yeah, I was supposed to tell you some woe is me story. Eh, I don't feel like being depressed so we wont discuss it. lol Just pray these stars are in my favor tonight.

Question: Why do people think Katy and Rosenberg are on opposite sides of the earth? Seriously,
if you ever need to meet with someone from Rosenberg and you're all, "oh I am in katy!"...they get all, "oh my gosh thats just too far from me!" Seriously? Its called a farm market...scenic route...or be a city girl and take 99, you'll be there faster than Peter Pan made it to Neverland.
I went to Rosenberg today for that orientation. I told them I live in Katy. Again, I heard..."Oh my gosh and you drove all the way out here?!"....yes...I did...took me a WHOPPING 15 minutes! I kid, took an hour because of traffic so early in the morning but the ride home was and always is less than 15 minutes.

Okay, I have to get this out there because the glare on my face...well if looks could kill. ha!
Yes, I look like I am a teenager. And yes people, I know "it must be nice to look young"....blah blah blah.....
No
IT IS NOT.
It might be nice to look young but not so young that you get treated like you are
THAT YOUNG.
I do not have enough fingers on my hand to count the number of times I hear people say
"Omgosh you don't look like you have kids!!!"
"Oh my gosh I thought you were in highschool!"
"Oh my gosh no way are you going to be 29 this year!!"

And then still talk and treat me like a teenager. Not cool. I'll be 30 next year yall! That is
GROWN UP! (:

Okay...2 days later. Lmao.
so the stars were not in my favor. My friend in Deer Park won
$2 million.  Yeah we aren't friends...yet. Lol
today has been a long long day of early morning
tests in history, finding out what's up with my student loan,
And taking kailah to the Dr where she was diagnosed with strep.
Doesn't sound hectic but trust me....
it was. I won't share all the details of my private life but insurance
can drive you crazy.

now I'm home. Exhausted. My jaw hurts from clenching it.
I don't even realize I'm doing it until it hurts so bad.
Anybody else do that? Do mouth guards work?
I might have to invest in one.

We are on week 2 without cable.
not by choice mind you. Ha!
I've watched the same sponge Bob dvd
The past 2 weeks.
I hate that sponge.
i can't clean house without thinking of him
and his cat snail, Gary.

SAVE.ME.

my mom's birthday is this weekend.
Such a fabulous lady she is.
I'd seriously be lost without her.
**insert heart**

Okay so what's with women saying
"Omg i need to rehome my dog...I have 2 kids, 1 is a newborn...my husband works nights... we also have a cat. I'm by myself. I haven't eaten my first meal of the day...blah blah blah"

#1 just state you need to rehome your dog. That's the only info we care about.
#2 first meal of the day??? Lol oh bless your heart...newborns are the easiest species. I ate more before they mutated to toddlers. Give me a break.
#3...yes I see 3 animals is overwhelming.  I only have 8 cats and 4 dogs.
btw I had lunch at 4pm. ;)

Like ok...I understand you need to rehome the animal
but we don't need the sob story with it. It just makes me...
blog about you. Lol
sorry. Not sorry.

Well it's friday.
I plan to whip up a lot of junk food and stuff my face.
have a good friday.
Tell my millionaire friend in Deer Park to call me!  ;)

Career mom...again.

Excuse me as I ramble with lifes happenings....

 

It has been ....*counting fingers*

4 years since I have worked. Yes, I did the photography thing but I mean like

worked for someone, with a company. Whatever that word is. LOL

I have been a ...gulp...SAHM for the past 4 years. It has been nice but mostly I feel incomplete.

I am such an independent person and by not working, I feel like I am not doing my part. What if something happened to Randy? God forbid. But seriously...how would I be able to survive if I am a sahm? Plus I just miss it! I want to get out there and make my own money, help provide for my family, and  have adult conversation. It is time....and well, I am back.

I start substituting really soon for a local district. I am BEYOND ecstatic.

I can finally bring in some income, get some experience for my future teaching career, and just enjoy life and be me again. The me that has been lost for a long time.

This means one scary thing though. The daycare hunt. Oh man. I'm usually the nonchalant easy going mom but after doing some working interviews in local daycares lately....HOLY bananas...no way! Now I am the freak out mama. 

 

My youngest, nathan, is two. Whether others believe me or not, I swear he has a form of autism like my 6 yr old Kailah. It's my mommy gut telling me.  I fear that nobody will understand him. They will be mean and he will have a fit. He has fits like Kailah does. It is so exhausting. He doesn't eat like a typical kid...he doesn't talk like a typical kid...he avoids eye contact and when does make contact, doesn't like it. He makes hand to face gestures. He likes to rub his finger over his lip, always. He licks chips and places them back in the bag. Doesn't like to be touched or talked to by strangers. Seems to be in his "own world"...a lot.Overstimulated by sounds, loud places, and overcrowded areas. You can ask him where body parts are, what is my name, etc and he knows the answer but he avoids it, like he is just out in space and so focused on something else. Like Kailah, he has texture preferences with food. They like liquids mostly, not many solids...if they do, it's junk. They can go without eating, it doesn't bother them. He doesn't have any OCD habits like Kailah but he does have an attachment for when he gets anxious. Kailah HAD to have the pacifier. Nathan HAS to have his bottle. I need to break from it but like Kailah, it's hell. Literally. By the end of the day, the fits are so exhausting, you just give in. Thankfully PPCD helped Kailah break free. They dealt with the fits, they knew how to control her because they were certified for it.

 I'm just mom with a lot of emotions. 

I am back and forth on whether I should have him tested. He's 2 now. The dr said I can wait and see but I know with experience, the earlier is better. Oh and...they don't sleep. I am dead serious. Autistic children struggle with sleep and awake patterns, their body doesn't know how to tell the brain how that all works. We have ups and downs with Kailah but she is usually up by 4 or 5am. Nathan doesn't really nap anymore and telling him it's bedtime is a lost cause, his brain just isn't "getting the idea". Potty training was easy with Kailah. She leans more on the Aspergers side of the spectrum. Extremely, overly smart. The things she said and did at 3 years old was astounding. She can memorize a book once read to her one time. She knew animals by their species. Nathan is the quiet, doesn't talk much type. He says a few things like Mama, daddy, uh oh, baba, "ice" (which is eyes), nosh (nose) peace (please), tank ew (thank you), and no. Otherwise it is a whole lot of gibberish. My fear is putting him in daycare and finding out I am not the only one who sees it. I mean, I don't mind. My 6 yr old is autistic. I just had to learn the hard way. I knew she was different though others were unsure. It took going to a birthday party when she was 3 for strangers to ask, "what is wrong with her? Does she have some sort of disability?" My throat had the biggest knot. That's when I said, forget it...I am doing the testing and low and behold...yep.

So now I am on the fence again with Nathan. I wonder, "do others see it but fear telling me by hurting my feelings?" I want to know. If you do, tell me. It helps ease my mind. I won't be hurt. Granted it is hard to hear those words but in the end, I can get him the help he needs and quick. I want him to have a normal life. I want him to get the help he needs now so he can learn to work with it in the future. Not use it as a crutch, but learn that the world won't revolve around his needs, he needs to be prepared for the world and what it holds. I'll get off my little soap box now...just a lot weighing on my mind.

Amirah has been doing guitar lessons with the sweet kid who graduated from CRHS. She LOVES it! I can't wait to see how far she goes with it. (: And swim team and cheer are approaching so we will be super busy with that! 

Oh, so I want to join a gym. Not to lose weight, Lord knows I don't need to lose anymore weight. LOL I want to tone up things and feel good again. I felt so good when I was a dancer but apparently finding ballet classes for adults is hard to come by these days. So I just figured I would do Zumba. Not sure when I would fit that into my busy schedule but I am sure I can make it work.

My husbands new work schedule makes for lonely evenings but after the Oilfield life, I sure ain't complaining. 

Well I have a ton of homework to do and dinner to cook. 

Keep you all posted! (: