So I went to JCPennys today to get an outfit for Nathans Sip & See tomorrow and it literally took me 3 hours! And here is why...
I get Nathan all settled, fresh diaper, feed him, and hes knocked out. Yay, I can actually shop without hearing a screaming baby....well mine that is. I'm looking around and find a cute top! Yay! Okay its been 30 minutes and of course Nathan wants to wake up for attention. He gets fussy and I try the paci to no avail. Im trying to figure out what I will wear with this top as I look around and wonder if this is what I should wear tomorrow. Well he starts to scream his head off. Im thinking what the heck, youre fed and fresh diaper, what is wrong kid? I pick him up and rock him as I'm pushing along the stroller hoping to find something. Next thing I know I get this awful smell and Im thinking Oh great, he made a poopy (words used only by mothers lol). As happy as I am that my infant just made a poopy because he has tried so hard all morning to have one, Im a bit frustrated because now it means I must change the stinker. I haul off towards the bathrooms, hide my adorable shirt in a rack so no one takes it since I cant obviously take it with me into the bathroom. I get back there and an employee tells me that the bathroom doors have just been painted and to be careful. Um thanks dude, just gunna stand there and watch me push this stroller with a screaming baby into the bathroom all while avoiding touching the paint? yep, he just stood and watched...typical man who obviously has a mother that did not raise him right. shame on her. Well I did it, made it in successfully...almost wanting to take a nap on the floor from the struggle I just went through but that would be gross, plus there is a baby that needs his poopy changed :) oh and this is the start of the great journey. I go to change him, talking in my baby voice to calm him and HOLY CHEESE STICKS there is crap everywhere!! It literally squished out of the diaper and was all the way up to his neck. Im trying not to vomit and cry as I pull the onesie off trying to avoid getting poo in his hair, which I failed greatly at. Then I wipe him down with wipes and put a fresh onesie on. BTW I threw that stinker in the garbage as a present to the donkey standing outside the door who didnt bother to help with the door. Maybe next time he will be courteous. Okay, baby is now fresh...lets get a move on. We head on back to continue shopping and I find some pants to go with the cute top. Of course, guess what? baby gets fussy! I check the time and discover OH MY BANANAS we have been here forever, its already time for him to eat again! which I had this all planned to where he shouldnt eat again until we got back hom but yeah right, what kid goes off a schedule? not mine! So I make him a bottle and prop it up on a blanket so I can continue to shop. Wait..I know what youre thinking. She did WHAT? yep, I propped that sucker up....I am THAT mom. Guess I dont win the mother of the year award. Oh whatever, this aint my first kid...he shall survive! me on the other hand...well lets continue this story because I almost didnt survive. Okay so we are headed to the dressing room, baby drinkin up his formula and me trying to squeeze a stroller into this lil cubicle of a dressing room. I try on the clothes and yep, I love it but I need a bigger size ( I dont like tight fitting clothes even if they do fit). Well baby begins to fuss. He finished his bottle. I go to pick him up to calm him down as hes screaming his heart out and last thing i need is a saleswoman knocking on my cubicle..eh hem i mean dressing room. Yep, pick him up and OH FRUIT LOOPS he just puked alllll over me. I start to cry, he cries more....yes i wanted this outfit but not THIS size! and he just ruined it. Oh dear, this is where I sit on the bench and cry, cursing my husband for being at work and missing out on this grand experience. I remove the clothing and we leave the dressing room. Me, being the nice person I am, find a saleswoman and tearfully pass her the curdled formula soaked clothes that I wont be purchasing and explain what happened. Bless her soul, she smiled and thanked me explaining its not the first time. Oh thank heavens, i feel slightly better. I then find the sizes I need and hurry to check out. I realize we have been at Pennys for 3 hours!! And I have to hurry to get my other two chickens. I decide that i owe myself a Starbucks for the heck I went through so I swing on in. I pull in and yes, it begins to pour down rain like no other. Literally like cats and dogs. Im thinking, crap i gotta get the baby and try to make it into the store without falling or getting drenched. I didnt want someone to call social services for leaving my baby in the car so I had to take him in. No, I would not leave my baby in the car. I parked out in an area away from other cars so I could jump out, get in the back, grab his seat and GO! Oh but this little heffer of a woman driving a BMW pulls up next to me going over the white line. grrrr I wanted to jump out and jump her like im from the hood...but I didnt....I wanted to but I didnt. Okay, on the count of 3 im jumping out and hoping in the back to grab baby and then we run. 1...2...3...and we are going...*open back door, hop in, close door* and now we get the happy little man out, grab the credit card and place in the mouth and get ready to make a run for it. *grabs door handle* WHAT THE HELL???? it wont open!!! Freakin child locked my butt in here!!! ughhh! I put baby back in carseat ( of course he gets pissed because he thought he was going somewhere) and I crawl around my car to find a door thats not child locked. Believe me, all of america in Starbucks watched me climb around my car like an idiot. I finally made it out and we ran for it. Get inside and Miss BMW says, Oh why on earth did u bring this baby out in the rain. Bitch dont test me. OOPs, no I didnt say it. I thought it...but instead smiled and said Oh i needed coffee and where there is a will, there is a way. :) I finally got my coffee, got my outfit, and we picked up the girls and made it home. the bittersweet moment of it all was when I was at Pennys, I sat in between all the chaos and fed Nathan the rest of his bottle. Two other moms with their infants, doing th same. We started chatting and discovered all three of our babies were born December 14th of 2011. We were so amazed at how cool that was and we shared stories and the babies cooed with each other. At least I wasnt the ONLY mom who heaven forbid brought her baby out in this rain! LOL
so thats my story...and Im sure we will have more to come. As chaotic as it was, its a memory that I wont forget. Gosh, I love being a mom! =)
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