So it is officially 2014 and everyone has made their resolutions...or not. Maybe already broke theirs?
My resolution...if that is what you want to call it...be a working mama again.
I have been a SAHM for FOUR years and I am 5 seconds from checking myself into a local mental institution or drowning myself in my own tub. Sorry yall...some of us women just weren't BORN to be at home all day. One kid...eh easy peasy...two kids...shoot me....three kids...what the hell was I thinking?
I was born independent. It is in my blood. It has literally caused me great pain and depression knowing I can't help pay the bills although I do...even if I have to charge people ridiculous cheap prices for photo shoots or sell a few shirts or crap I have hoarded over the years....by golly I will pay the water bill...and feel proud! Ha. Or depressed because it's not enough. I was the girl who never asked her parents for money...actually said, no its okay when they offered. I had my first job at 15 and never stopped until 2011. I was working full time and attending school full time...I suffer from severe depression and I had a horrible anxiety attack from being overwhelmed. I quit my job and focused on school. I was going to work again but nothing felt right...I was feeling uneasy and the anxiety was so bad I couldn't make up my mind so my amazing husband said, "just stay home and focus on school". So I swallowed my pride and gave it a shot. Next thing I know my 3 year old is diagnosed with Autism and I find out I am pregnant with my third.
SOOO...I give birth to Nathan and continue going to school but my health declines. I am dropping weight faster than Jenny Craig. Headaches get intense and other health issues arise. I go to doctor after doctor...specialist after specialist...diagnosis after diagnosis...or uncertainty to more referrals. My husband is working in the oil field during this time and only home 5 days a month so of course the added stress is tough but we "make it work". After much research and lots of thinking and reading other womens blogs....I've decided the best thing for me is to go back to work. I cannot sit at home. I cannot be domesticated...cleaning and cooking. It's not me. It's strange but our roles as husband and wife are unlike the norm. He is the cleaner...I am more of a "picker upper". I don't like cooking but over the years I am trying to like it. He cooks a lot. I'd rather bake cupcakes all day. I mean, who doesn't want cupcakes for dinner? ;) We both rotate bathing the kids, doing their hair, the laundry, etc. We work as a team...not as separate humans. I have always been a social person. I love meeting new people and interacting with others. I think by getting back to work will help ME a lot.
PLUS
Okay I am not one who usually is into the whole natural or organic ways BUT honestly the crap we eat is killing me. Seriously I didn't used to care but dang every doctor I see wants to just shove pills down my throat instead of figuring out what is causing the problem. Times have changed. Things and doctors and FOOD are not the same. Everything is becoming artificial or genetically modified and our bodies aren't made for that thus causing us to feel like crap. literally...on the toilet crapping. Or body aches, etc. It's the food! I am tired of feeling tired. I know I have an auto immune disease or two or three or whatever else they say...I know I suffer from mental illness...I know this because blood work shows it and I feel it. I hate pills. Its the fight in me. I want to fight it off myself than take some pill that's going to cause another problem down the line or cause side effects. So I am changing our eating habits. It's not a diet and we sure ain't doing that new "90 day juicing" bull shit. Seriously people we are carnivores...our bodies NEED meat. It is GOOD for you...even the dark stuff!
Also with all these insane hooligans not vaccinating their kids for whatever god forsaken reason, I need to protect my own at whatever cost. My children are vaccinated and always will be. I do not associate with those who refuse to vaccinate their children. Literally stay away from my kids. I don't care to hear your reasoning...(those with legit medical reasons are definitely dear to my heart and I understand...I am talking about the Dr. google idiots who think it causes autism or "poisons" their kids....as if they aren't poisoned by the pollution in the air...idiots)
So we are going to slowly switch to gluten and dairy free at least 80-90% of the time ( a lot of gluten IS bad for the human body whether you're intolerant or not and unfortunately the foods we eat are jam packed with it and dairy...well cows milk is rough on the GI tract, we aren't meant to drink that stuff).... It really isn't as hard as one thinks. It will make us feel soooo much better and not so BLEH. Also, switching from cane sugar to using LOCAL honey to help with immunity. I found recipes on a friends blog and holy cow it sounds amazing and I will soon be trying them out and giving reviews for you all. As you know my 2 and 6 yr old are very different eaters. They eat mostly the same stuff...prefer certain textures or colors and my oldest suffers from horrible migraines like her mother. I just feel like I have soaked in so much information and I do not nearly have enough time to share it with you all!
OH OH
and please google Young Living Essential Oils!!
I will be ordering some soon. As I said earlier, I do not do medicine. Not that I am against it, I just refuse to use it unless it is life and death. These oils help cleanse your home and keep you healthy, stressed free, etc. Again so much information! Just google it! :) I will probably write a long blog about it when I order them and use them.
SO about us...
Girls are back in school. They are both leaving gymnastics and moving on to the activities they each have a desire to pursue. Mira is my cheerleader and swimmer so we will be starting tumbling, cheer, and swim soon! She is growing up so fast before my eyes it is quite scary. We are quickly reaching the "tween" years and it makes me want to hyperventilate.
Kai wants to get back into dance. She said as long as she gets to wear a tutu, it's what she wants to do. LOL!
And Nate is talking and getting his own little personality. He is such a daddys boy. We have been weaning him off his bottle and he is doing quite well. Before long he will be potty training and moving up to a big boy bed. :(
I just registered for 9 hours of college classes and next week will be adding 6 more hours. It is a lot but it keeps me busy and focused. I am looking for full time employment as I previously mentioned. Something that works with my school schedule and is only Monday through Friday. Nate will start daycare and I am sad but I am happy too. It is time. He needs the social skills and to break free from mama. :)
Sorry no pictures today...this was kind of last minute. I will be writing more soon about our new changes.
XO
Uh-Man-Duh ;)
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