Day 3: Song of Solomon

rough night with Nate again

I don't know what it is but he just cant comfort himself back to sleep

it's not so much wanting the bottle but almost like he's hurting or having a bad dream

He has GI issues so I dont know if he flares up at night from whatever he ate or what's wrong

but he doesnt have an appointment until March.

 

And the girls are both about to go crazy

the weather is so dull

no sun

it rains here and there

and it's cold

They are so bored and ready to go back to school.

5 more days!

 

And as always,

it seems this year has started off to a rough start

Again

Randy got a call this morning

He leaves tomorrow sometime

well Randy being ...well Randy and not listening to his wife

haha

sold his truck

so...

he's without a vehicle and he has to be in Beeville tomorrow

Apparently they go to Beeville then drive up to PA to get their stuff and drive back down where they will work in Beeville or Laredo?

IDK

i am just as confused as you all are.

But it completely messes up our schedule

bleh

BUT we will get through it

They did get another contract!

yay

and it's

SHELL! *claps and does happy dance*

 

So today we just kind of hang out at home

he helps me do laundry

we kind of just walk around in silence though you can feel each others tension and sadness

ocassionally saying, "what if" or "i wonder if"..."maybe this will happen.." or

::sigh::

two months he's been home

and it's time for him to go again

not sure the schedule or how all this works but it's frustrating to someone who NEEDS a schedule

who plans everyday with a list

not to mention

we are a super close tight knit family

as much as we want to rip each others throats out

we long to see each other everynight

our routines

our traditions

it's rough

 

We did some heavy thinking and planning for our future

I can't be a SAHM

it's not for me

in fact, I really think it's why I am always so snappy

 

I love my children...Lord knows I would die for them

They are my backbone

my everything

the air I breathe

the reason I move forward in life

 

BUT

I was born to be in the work field

to make my share of money

and help with the bills

to be INDEPENDENT

and

to get my sanity back

SAHM is a difficult job

it's wonderful

but

hard

 

So I officially decided to get back out in the "work world"

I think it will make me happier and keep me busy

Prayers my way as I apply for this particular position I am hoping to get.

it's perfect.

the hours are awesome

the place is great

and

I can bring in some income ::Phew::

 

Oh and about an hour ago...hubby got a call that...well he leaves tonight

::sigh::

 

this is how it works

always

we never know when or where or how long

but it can make or break our relationship

9 years we have been together

and well

we are stronger than we have ever been

Like I said before...i'm not materialistic

Randys engagment ring to me was perfect

I didnt pick it

he did

it's not my style

but HE picked it

and omg I love it

 

When we got married we got out wedding bands and well about a year or so ago he took his off to wash his hands and he left it by the sink in a corner store.

oops

we both laughed...because that is him. His mind is always forgetting.

 

We decided to get new rings...well for him but I wanted to have matching someway

 

so we went with the Song of Solomon

"I am my beloved and my beloved is mine"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

not the exact script but similar

 

it fits us perfect

We don't parade around our relationship

instead soak in each others silence

staring

smiling

and giggling

 

I am so glad these rings came in before he left

it leaves me with peace

 

you may all be like

"oh gawsh woman get over it"

 

and well no,

you get over it or exit the blog

 

I have a very strong bond with my husband

He is a huge family man

He NEVER in the 9 years we have been together has gone out with friends

He doesn't drink

He doesn't smoke

no drugs

he's faithful

he's an amazing father

He never puts me down

always compliments me

 

He works this job to support our family

and get us where we can settle and be comfortable

and we are so blessed.

 

 

so tonight before he leaves

I ask him what he wants for his "last meal"

lol

and I cook it and we sit at the table as a family and talk, eat, and enjoy each others company

explaining to the kids how long daddy will be gone and we arent sure when he will be back but when he does,

it will be a surprise!

And we will celebrate!

but we can Tango with daddy

and this time

he stays in Texas!